Stop Phone Habits From Sabotaging Your Relationships

Published: 18 November 2025 Tuesday . The English Chronicle Desk. The English Chronicle Online

In today’s hyper-connected world, phones have become an indispensable part of daily life, but excessive use can take a toll on our most important relationships. From casual conversations to family interactions, the phenomenon of “phubbing”—snubbing someone in favour of a phone—has become a growing concern.

Phubbing may seem harmless, but research shows it can create feelings of neglect and disconnection in partners and children alike. Parents who frequently check their phones risk weakening bonds with younger children and damaging the self-esteem of older ones. Similarly, couples may feel ignored, and minor moments of disengagement can escalate into persistent patterns that undermine intimacy and trust.

Rather than berating oneself for a lack of self-control, experts recommend adopting intentional strategies to reduce mindless phone use. Dr Kaitlyn Regehr, Associate Professor at University College London, suggests a simple yet effective approach: whenever you pick up your phone, explain why you’re doing it, then put it down and re-engage with those around you.

“It sounds almost too easy, but transparency is key,” Dr Regehr told BBC Woman’s Hour. “If a message pops up or you need to check something quickly, verbalize it: ‘I just need to reply to this, then I’ll give you my full attention again.’ Naming your reason—‘I need to check train times’ or ‘I’m replying to my mum’—interrupts the automatic habit of checking your phone and signals to the other person that they matter.”

This small adjustment not only reduces the likelihood of prolonged scrolling but also reinforces accountability, preventing the device from becoming a constant distraction. The practice encourages deliberate engagement and helps preserve the shared moments that are essential to maintaining healthy relationships.

Supporting this approach, Dr Claire Hart, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Southampton, led a study involving 196 participants exploring phone use and relationship satisfaction. Her findings indicate a strong correlation between feeling phubbed and relationship dissatisfaction.

“Not everyone reacts the same way, but once someone feels ignored, it can trigger a cycle of retaliation,” Dr Hart explained. “One partner may pick up their own phone in response, creating a spiral where both feel undervalued compared to what’s on the screen. Every instance of phubbing disrupts connection, and it can take a significant amount of time to regain the emotional flow of shared experiences.”

Experts emphasize that addressing phone habits requires awareness and communication. Couples and families can benefit from setting boundaries for device use, such as designating phone-free times during meals, walks, or bedtime routines. Practicing mindfulness around screen interactions allows individuals to prioritize presence over distraction.

Technology itself is not the enemy; rather, it is the unintentional prioritization of devices over human connection. By taking proactive steps, such as transparent explanations for phone use, conscious engagement, and mutual understanding of boundaries, relationships can be strengthened rather than strained by modern digital habits.

The rise of phubbing highlights a broader societal challenge: balancing the convenience of connectivity with the fundamental human need for attention and empathy. Simple behavioural shifts, guided by intentionality and communication, can help mitigate the negative effects of phone use and enhance the quality of interpersonal relationships.

Ultimately, fostering awareness and accountability is crucial. Recognizing the impact of our device habits and committing to mindful engagement ensures that technology supports relationships rather than undermining them. As Dr Regehr notes, small changes can lead to significant improvements in relationship satisfaction, making presence and attention the priorities in an age dominated by screens.