Man Opens Up About Cleft Lip Emotional Journey

Published: 29 April 2026. The English Chronicle Desk. The English Chronicle Online

A deeply personal and emotional moment at a fundraising event has led a man in his 60s to confront, for the first time in his life, the long-suppressed feelings surrounding his cleft lip condition. Hugh Davies, who was born with a cleft lip, has described how a chance encounter with another person sharing the same condition became a turning point that reshaped his understanding of himself, his past and the emotional weight he had carried for decades.

The experience unfolded at a charity dinner where Davies noticed a woman standing alone in the crowd who also had a visible facial difference caused by a cleft. In that moment, he made a spontaneous decision to approach her. Although he had spoken about his condition with doctors, family members and friends over the years, he had never before discussed it openly with someone who had lived through the same experience.

What followed, he later described, was one of the most emotionally intense and transformative conversations of his life. The two strangers, brought together by shared experience, quickly moved beyond polite conversation and began speaking openly about their lives, their insecurities and the emotional impact of growing up with a visible facial difference. Davies said the discussion felt immediate and deeply honest, touching on subjects such as bullying, self-image, and the psychological burden of being perceived differently by others.

For Davies, the encounter marked a significant emotional breakthrough. He described how, after decades of avoiding the subject, he finally allowed himself to confront feelings he had long suppressed. The conversation continued throughout the evening, even interrupting the formal structure of the event, as both individuals found themselves unable to step away from the connection they had formed.

The emotional impact of the meeting continued beyond the event itself. Davies revealed that the following day he experienced a release of long-held emotion, describing it as the first time he had cried about his cleft lip. He explained that the experience allowed him to acknowledge sadness and vulnerability he had previously pushed aside in order to function in daily life.

Born with a cleft lip, Davies underwent multiple surgeries during childhood and early adulthood. His first operation took place when he was five years old, followed by further procedures at the age of 19, which required extensive recovery and significant physical discomfort. Despite medical intervention improving his appearance over time, he said the psychological impact remained with him into adulthood, even as he attempted to move past it.

Throughout his life, Davies said he often chose not to speak about his condition. Although he encountered others with similar experiences, he admitted that he rarely acknowledged their shared connection. Instead, he focused on building a professional career in public relations, eventually becoming a company director, while maintaining a private emotional distance from his own history.

It was only later in life, during therapy, that he began to explore how his early experiences may have shaped his behaviour and confidence. He reflected on how growing up with a facial difference influenced his willingness to take risks, speak publicly or place himself in positions of visibility. He described a pattern of holding back in both personal and professional situations, driven by a fear of rejection and judgement.

Despite outward appearances of confidence and sociability, Davies said he often felt internally cautious in social environments, particularly in situations where he was meeting new people or entering crowded spaces. He acknowledged a long-standing desire for acceptance and approval, as well as an underlying fear of being bullied, something he experienced during his younger years.

His involvement with Smile Train, a charity focused on cleft care, became a turning point in his journey toward acceptance. Through his work with the organisation and participation in fundraising activities, he gradually began to re-engage with the broader cleft community. However, it was not until his encounter with the woman at the dinner event that he felt a true sense of shared understanding.

Following the emotional conversation, Davies said he maintained contact with her, and the experience encouraged him to speak more openly with those closest to him, including his family and friends. While many people have reassured him that his cleft does not define him, he explained that such responses, though well-meaning, do not always reflect the deeper emotional complexity of living with a visible difference.

Davies described the encounter as a bridge between his past and present, allowing him to reframe his experiences and acknowledge emotions he had long avoided. He said the conversation helped him recognise that he was not alone in his feelings and that others had navigated similar challenges.

His story highlights the often unseen emotional journey of individuals living with facial differences, and the lasting psychological impact such conditions can have, even when physical treatment has been successful. It also underscores the importance of shared experience and open conversation in healing long-standing emotional wounds.

For Davies, the moment did not just represent a conversation at a charity dinner, but a turning point that allowed him, in his own words, to finally begin reconnecting with a part of himself he had long ignored.